How to NOT Freak Out While The Broligarchy Tries to Destroy Our Democracy, Part I

It’s tumultuous times. Unprecedented. In my life, and I’m Gen X, I have never seen Senators and Representatives from the House call a protest to RESIST a US President. Of course, there’s never before been an unelected billionaire bro takeover the US Treasury and there’s never been a torrential blizzard of executive disorders (yes, I said DISORDERS) that are just downright mean.

So here we are. Where does psychotherapy and coping skills weave into this knot of chaos? Let’s start with calming our nervous system with grounding skills. Take a deep breath. Create some space between your inhales and exhales. Take a small inhale through your nose. Pause and hold it. Now exhale through your mouth. As you walk, feel your feet hitting the ground, working from heel to toe, breathing deeply as you walk.

Now, let’s examine the epicenter of our freak out, which is in the amygdala brain.

The amygdala brain is in fear. That’s what the amygdala brain does. That’s its job. It protects us. Listen to your fear. And I’m here to validate your fear. Yep. I hear you. I see you too. I also see this autocratic administration. It’s happening. Look at the last three weeks. Know that your fear is valid. Fear can help us take action. Stand up and say something.. Protest. Call your reps. Join groups who are taking action. Channel that fear. Channel that anger. Fight. Fight hard . . . but only if and when you are ready.

But let’s go back to finding a piece of peace. We were doing deep breathing and feeling our feet hit the floor. Try stretching your neck, turning your ear to touch your shoulder, massage your neck, pull your arms back and stand up straight, do a yoga warrior pose.

Know that you are a warrior. And a warrior needs sleep. A warrior needs water. A warrior needs food— fruit, veggies, protein, carbs for the brain. Take care of your warrior self like you would a child or a pet. Wash your face. Moisturize your face. Take a nice hot shower and breathe. Use shampoo and conditioner that smells good. Inhale and ground yourself with your sense of smell. Connect with your sensory of touch and feel the water on your skin.

Next, let’s shift into the coping skill I like to call the serenity affirmation …

I, Queen Warrior, have the SERENITY to accept the things I cannot change (like Trump’s executive disorders happened).

I, Queen Warrior, have the COURAGE to change the things I can (like getting into action and resisting, and like taking care of myself).

I, Queen Warrior, awaken to the WISDOM to know the difference.

This Serenity Affirmation is a great tool to delineate what you cannot change and what you can change. The past you definitely cannot change. Accept what’s happened. It’s done.

But right now, in this very moment, know that you have the power to do exactly what you want. Seize that moment. Make a protest sign. Maybe it will say, “I Do What I Want and I will celebrate Black History Month.” Or maybe it will say, “Fork in the Road? Well, Fork you!”

And in closing, I want to give a shout out to Gil Scott-Heron, who said, “The revolution will NOT be televised.” That means that true change will not be brought to us by corporations or the TV, but rather through a change in our own minds and in our actions. Carpe diem. Seize the day. And as one of my clients used to say, “Seize the carp.”